A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.
Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
What did the retarded kid get on his IQ test?
I said to my girlfriend.....
I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."
Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly retarded."
What fun that was...
What do you call a retarded jelly?
A slow jam.
What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.
What did the asian parents call their retarded son?
Sum ting wong
favorite pick up line
hey babe, are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special
Its not easy Making Fun of Retarded People
You Really have to explain it to them
--- Anthony Jeselnik
Joke from orange is the new black
So a penguin and a farmer walk into a bar. The penguin starts eating the tiny fancy drink umbrellas. The Bartender says to the Farmer, "Hey, your eggplant's gotta pay for those." And so the Penguin says "Dude, he's not an eggplant, he's retarded."
How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?
If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.
What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.
(Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)
You can explore retarded tard reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean retarded retard dad jokes. There are also retarded puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so she
needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told
my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have
What do you call a retarded person who likes Japanese comics?
What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?
This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.
What do you call a retarded pig wearing his brother's old sweater?
Microsoft's new browser Spartan refers to the amount of people who will use it.
Full credit to my friend on this one. Told him of the retarded spartan post(can't find it sorry) and he came up with this gold.
I completely understand parents who choose not to vaccinate their children...
...because they all got vaccinated as children, and obviously turned out retarded.
My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them
"What's that?", I replied, "Dracula's retarded brother?"
is Dracula's retarded brother.
Is your dad retarded?
Because you're something special
I bought my retarded son a Komodo dragon, but for safety reasons we keep him in his cage.
Away from the Komodo dragon.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call the birth of a retarded child?
A special delivery.
Three blondes are walking through the forest
when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both retarded. They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.
When I was 15 I got fired from my babysitting job when I lost my retarded neighbor at the mall...
I guess you could say I've been looking for that special someone ever since.
So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded.
I wanted my first time to be special.
My twin brother is a retarded thief.
He stole my chromosome.
So my girlfriend and my mom have never met...
So I told my girlfriend that my mother is deaf, so she will need to speak slowly and loudly for her to understand you. I then called my mom and told her to be nice, cause my girlfriend is retarded. Boy it's going to be a fun Thanksgiving this year!
What's pink and retarded?
My brother's now ok with me calling him retarded.
All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are retarded.
I saw a bumper sticker today.....
I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "My child has more chromosomes than yours (:"
.....what a retarded sense of humor
What do you call a mentally retarded chef?
A slow cooker
A mexican kid tells D. Trump:
I want to be President!
Trump says: are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you retarded?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.
What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.
What's the difference between fighting on the internet and participating in the paralympics?
None, even if you win, you're still retarded.
What's it called when two retarded lesbians have sex?
What do you call the retarded guy that follows the band around?
What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?
Not being retarded
Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
Hey girl are your parents retarded?
Because you're special.
What do mentally retarded parents give their kids?
Hand me Downs.
95% of the world is retarded
I'm glad I am the 10%
What do you call a retarded sailor?
I hate people using "gay" as a synonym for "bad"...
It's just so retarded.
I told Iron Man to break a leg, he tripped and broke his leg.
Oh the iron knee.
Note: I'm retarded and don't know 100% what irony is so this might make no sense.
A rich, young man walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a few drinks. As he is enjoying his beer, he sees a mentally retarded man outside the building.
Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched the old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
They call me the 47th chromosome
Because when I turn up to a party, everyone gets retarded.
A mexican kid walks up to Donald Trump...
And says, "One day I want to be a president like you."
Donald Trump is disgusted and replies, "Are you stupid? Are you retarded? Have you lost your mind?"
The Mexican kid then says, "Actually, I don't want to be president. Those are too many requirements."
Why are peanut butter and jelly retarded?
People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not..
you *really* have to explain it to them.
What's the difference between a fortune teller and a farmer with retarded bunnies
One deals with tarot cards while the other deals with carrot tards.
A Mexican boy meets Donald Trump
The Mexican boy says "One day, I'm going to be President of the United States!"
Donald Trump replied "Are you crazy?" "Are you retarded?" "Are you out of your mind?"
The Mexican boy pauses for a second and says "That's too many requirements for being President."
All sandwiches are retarded...
...because they are inbred.
What did the blind, deaf, crippled, retarded 12 year old get for Christmas?
Fighting on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics
It doesn't matter who wins, you're both retarded!
Friend 1: "I just threw the chocolate that I had planned on eating, in the trash can. Sometimes I think I am retarded"
Friend 2: "Oh! I do that as well"
Friend 1: "Put your chocolate in the trash can?"
Friend 2: "No. Think you are retarded"
I kind of understand where anti-vaxxers coming from.
They were surely vaccinated as children, and look how retarded they turned out to be.
Me: I just put my laundry in the fridge. Sometimes I think I am retarded.
Friend: Oh! I do that all the time.
Me: Put clothes in the fridge?
Friend: No. Think that you are retarded.
Management told me in a meeting today that my language is too "insensitive"
How retarded is that?
There are 2 types of people.
The 88% that is normal and the 22% that is retarded.
I'm happy that i'm in that 88%.
I had sex with a retarded girl last night
i wanted my first time to be special
Where do retarded people live?
How did you know I was a vegetarian?
Is a fun thing so say when someone hands you their retarded baby.
Me mum thinks I'm retarded
But what does she know? Afterall, she married her cousin.
I lost my virginity to a retarded girl.
you can say my first time was special.
Shots are like pairs of chromosomes
If you have more then 23 you are probably going to be retarded
Some dude said: I like my music slow
I said: That's retarded
The left likes to act like they're so progressive..
But look who put the first mentally retarded person in the white house.
If I punch myself and it hurts pretty bad, am I too strong or too weak?
Im doing the 10 years of acting retarded challenge
Wait i already did
What goes mark mark, gibble gibble?
A hair lipped dog chasing a retarded chicken.
There is only one thing that is more retarded than my sister...
The other day someone asked me how it feels to be so retarded...
I told them it has its ups and downs, mainly downs.
I asked a French person what the word late was in French
He called me retarded
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day. Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded? The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements. What did the retarded kid get on his IQ test?Dr...
Are you retarded?. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean retarded retard dad jokes.. The third replies "You're both retarded.. Are you retarded?Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.. Are you retarded?. "Are you retarded?". Sometimes I think I am retarded". Think you are retarded". Sometimes I think I am retarded.. Think that you are retarded.
2020 jokes that are not only about hate but actually working test puns like My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister s panties and I can see six years into the future
"I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.". The job candidate responded, " I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.". I don't have 2020 vision.. I don't have 2020 vision.. Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision. Like come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision!. Or we make it through to next year.. "It wasn't rigged" God replies.. Well, next year is 2020 too.. I don't have 2020 vision.
Fridge jokes that are not only about refridgerator but actually working frig puns like Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said This isn t working I m going to my mum s and Re-post but one of my all time favorites somewhat altered
I opened up the fridge.. Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge. Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge. The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge.. She keeps it in the fridge.. For example, if we wanted to say, "it's in the fridge", we'd instead say "it's inside the fridge".. Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge, and go to bed, whereas married women come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge!. What are you doing in my fridge?. It's her day 5 behind the fridge.
Here are 200 funny and somewhat stupid jokes to make your day. These jokes cut across all areas of life and you will see them bring laughter to anyone you tells them.
When reading or listening to a joke just have in mind that it doesn’t have to make meaning to be funny, nevertheless the funniest jokes ever heard are those ones that make no meaning.. They are also stupid for one and all!. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?. How do baseball players stay cool?. You’re so stupid you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!. Luke out – here comes another knock knock joke.. Quacker another bad knock knock joke and I’m leaving!. A: Why did the teacher put rubber bands on her students’ heads?. Q: What do you call a fish with legs?. A: What do math teachers eat?. Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. Yo mama so stupid she thought if she hits someone with rice they will turn Chinese.. 200. yo mama so stupid she sprayed a tree with axe body spray and thought it would fall down
Need a good comeback to use the next time someone roasts you? Here's a list of the best insults and good combacks to entertain yourself with this quarantine.
We’ve compiled a list of good roasts and comebacks to mutter under your breath the next time someone pisses you off.. Whether you’ve gotta deal with kids who just won’t put their crap away or need an office joke for that coworker who drives you crazy, there’s something on this list for every situation.. Reminder: While we all need to blow off steam from time to time (moms especially!. Save these roasting jokes and comebacks for the privacy of your own home, or for people who’ll understand that they’re just that — jokes.. Read on to learn some of the best roasts and insults that will get you through a day where you don’t feel like being as sweet as a Georgia peach.. Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.. Don’t worry about me.. “It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’” — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race. “Don’t get bitter, just get better.” — Alyssa Edwards, RuPaul’s Drag Race. I treasure the time I don’t spend with you.90.. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch.91.
Use these 56 funny dares to quickly + humorously spice up a truth or dare (or a conversation) when you run out of things to talk about.
Remember back when you were a kid, and you played truth or dare with your friends?. Eat a bite out of a sandwich made from each person choosing one ingredient to put on the sandwich.. Sing a song chosen by the group while eating spoonfuls of peanut butter.20.. The following truth questions that are basically funny dares will make you dig deep for the answer and say things you really don't want to share.. Worst case, things get awkward for a bit.. There's no reason you can't have fun while doing your dares .. If you want dares that'll make you laugh more than anything, try these funny embarrassing dares.. If you want to laugh your head off while playing truth or dare over text, try these funny dares over text.. Call a random number, and when someone picks up, immediately start singing the National Anthem Another prank call dare that can lead to some serious laughter, this idea could have everyone in the text chat laughing like crazy .. Just make sure to record the call.. Funny but also fun dares!. Here are 10 funny but also fun dares:. Don't take Truth or Dare too seriously.. It's always good to have funny questions to ask to keep the laughs coming.. The next time you're playing Truth or Dare with a group of friends, be sure to pull out this list of 56 funny dares for a hilarious get-together.
Want to prank your friends and tell them something that will surely freak them out? Read on these 75 weird things to say to entertain your friends.
Because you’re a good friend , that’s why.. But aside from looking through lists like the one in this post, how can you get better at thinking up weird things to say to your friends, family, and other unsuspecting people?. Pick a word and mind-map at least ten random, connected ideas.. Think of a memorable moment and write a list of random thoughts about it.. Pick something — a word, a letter, an image — and play a word-association game without editing yourself.. Leaving aside comments others are likely to find crass or creepy, consider the following list of weird things to say to your friends (or anyone else who’s listening).. “If, at first, you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence that you tried.”. “My parents moved a lot when I was a kid.. When you walk into a room, say, “Well, that went far worse than I expected.”. At the beginning of a response, “Well, as I said in a dream last night…”. Tell a friend, “I had a dream about you last night.. If you’ve seen my pet rock (answers to “Falafel”), please call me.. “Organized people are missing out on finding mountains of useless crap in the search for that one thing they held onto ‘just in case’ and finally have a use for.”
Music film tv and political news coverage frontman dave mustaine and ice t have been friends since 91 and mustaine
When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.. Following is our collection of funny Good News Bad News jokes.. There are some good news bad news awful jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.. Here are more "what's the difference between" jokes guaranteed to make you laugh.. This list has you covered with kid-friendly knock, knock jokes, clever one-liners, tongue-in-cheek mom puns, and silly Q&A jokes that any mom will love.. Posted by Jimmy 09/02/2022 Jokes Jokes for Children Tags: Baseball Jokes Featured Sports Jokes Puns There are so many funny jokes for Kids and Children out there, we simply had to make a collection.. It's broad jokes and laugh track feels somewhat out of place on the streaming service, ... it's woke people vs. those who aren't woke; black people ..... Short Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud.. From celebratory cakes congratulating on healthy flatulence and hilarious treasure quests to throwing a funny joke about adopting a wild coyote, this list will surely give you some cool prank ideas on how to spice up your marriage.. He can't figure out why nobody laughs, until he's the butt of everyone's jokes.. Knowing good questions to ask is essential.....Because asking questions is the most powerful way to get to know someone.Of course, not all questions are equal.Having the right questions to ask prepared goes a long way in helping you to connect with people more effectively.. And I know it sounds too good to be true, but the right question to ask someone ..... 13 Terrible Jokes, Explained - Actually, it's 17 jokes, including some simple one-liners and a few longer story-based jokes for you to remember and ....
Looking for the best Anthony Jeselnik quotes? If you like comedy, then this collection is perfect for you!
If people think something is off-limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it, that’s my job.”. “My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person, so I can get a better girlfriend.”. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don’t even care, ’cause now I have to call up my mother and say, ‘Mom, I am so sorry, that picture was just for dad.’”. I’m the one who has to get a new girlfriend.”. “You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub and you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.”. If half the crowd gets the joke and the other half is sitting there scratching their heads, that’s just as good for me if I like the joke, because I feel like it just brings people in more.”. “One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed themselves or making a joke about some horrible tragedy.. The audience has to understand that comedians are going to sometimes tell a joke that doesn’t work out with dark subjects, and the comedian has to understand that sometimes they’ll fail and it’s not the audience’s fault for not getting it or loving it.”. “Most guys don’t realize that when they’re having sex with their girlfriend, they’re also having sex with everyone I’ve had sex with, too.”. “The one thing I’ve found you really can’t joke about and people think it’s death or something, is money.. But I don’t tell my girlfriend that.. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to my girlfriend.