Flirting Signs: 6 Subtle Tells That Someone Is Into You (2022)

Seeing flirting signs is surprisingly hard to do.

But when you can tell when a woman you’re attracted to is flirting with you, ding ding ding! That is amazing for everyone involved.

That’s why here in this post, I’m going to share 6 obvious ways to tell if she’s flirting with you as well as how to pay attention and read signs from coworkers, shy women, friends, and more.

To see the context for why I made this article on reading flirting signs, consider what this Introverted Alpha reader has to say:

“It’s hard to pick up the signs that she wants more from me. I have always been told I am oblivious to when people flirt with me or like me.”

And another reader says,

“I found out years after graduating that the hottest girl in high school was into me, and I never did anything about it. By the time I realized, even though we were both single, I was too freaked out and just did nothing.”

If you can relate and aren’t clear on why women would find you sexually attractive — even if you’re a good guy — it may feel like you’ll never be able to read the signs.

But you can learn. You can!

You just haven’t known how to perceive everything yet, and I’m going to help you with that right now.

But first, there is something you must know before any of what I’m going to share can help you, and that is knowing why women would flirt with you at all.

No matter where you are, if you are convinced that someone couldn’t possibly be flirting with YOU, then how on earth can you interpret her flirting signs clearly for what they are: a genuine interest in you?

That’s why we have our free ebook that lays out exactly how to find out what’s sexually attractive about you so that you can confidently read and act on the flirting signs she’s showing you. >> Download it here. <<

During many years at Introverted Alpha, it’s become clear just how valuable this ebook is: Reading flirting signs from a woman always starts with knowing why you’d be flirted with! Find out here.

Back to our flirting signs…

Here is what’s on tap for today:

First, we’re going to look at 6 signs a woman is likely flirting with you. What are signs of flirting?

Then we’re going to examine good signs she’s into you in specific contexts where it matters most:

  • We’ll apply the flirting signs to women at work and women you’ve just met.
  • Then we will go over possible signals from a longtime best friend who you’re worried you’re in the friend zone with (you might not be! I’ll show you good indicators on how to tell).
  • We’ll also look at the science of flirting to see when she’s shy or introverted and her romantic interest in you may not be as obvious as a more outgoing or extroverted woman’s would be.

Once you have an understanding of little tells that a woman offers, that will help you take action. No amount of information or popular dating tips can replace being able to read someone in the moment. So that’s what we’re going to work on together now!

Here are the 6 obvious ways to read any woman you’re attracted to.

Is she into you too? Let’s find out!

1. She’s relaxed and excited around you.

When a woman is feeling relaxed and excited around you, that means the beginning elements of chemistry and love interest are present.

If you’ve been around Introverted Alpha for awhile, you may remember the Chemistry Equation:

Relaxation + Excitement = Chemistry.

(Video) Never Ignore These 6 Hidden Signs She's Flirting With You - Subtle Female Flirting Signs Men Miss!

Why is this so?

Because she must feel relaxed in order for her excitement towards you to be positive and drawing her in rather than negative and creating anxiety. You can’t have a positive experience of excitement towards someone unless you feel relaxed around that person too.

Excitement is important because if she only feels relaxed around you, then where’s the attraction?


So both relaxation and excitement together = one of the biggest signs.

How can you tell if she’s relaxed and excited around you?

Her body is visibly more relaxed than tense. She’s holding her drink in a more easeful than clutching way. She’s breathing in a more open than tight and shallow way. This is how her relaxation shows through.

Even while you interpret these basic elements of breath and body language being relaxed, her excitement shows through her…

  • blushing,
  • physical contact,
  • the way she seems nervous and happy in her facial expressions and laugh,
  • and how she takes deep happy breaths to calm herself (with all the excitement she’s feeling in your presence!).

2. Smiling and looking down shyly.

Smiling is one thing, and blushing and smiling is another.

When a woman is smiling and looking down shyly, she likely feels attracted to you and a bit submissive or vulnerable in an exciting way that feels good to her.

How can you tell if she’s smiling and looking down shyly?

Firstly, her smile is genuine, not forced.

Also, she might be…

  • blushing a little,
  • licking her lips,
  • reaching for her hair, or
  • playing with her glass.

Next time you notice any of these potential flirting signs, see if you can maintain eye contact. Then check to see if her eyes wander away from you, downwards in a sweet and shy way.

Her shyness shows when she has this excitement and is channeling that into a subtle physical activity while also seeming relaxed and happy.

3: Turning towards you.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of receptive is open and responsive to ideas, impressions, or suggestions.”

When she’s turning her body or her feet towards you with open body language, that means she is feeling receptive.

Receptivity implies relaxation and excitement (chemistry) and means she feels safe with you and wants more of you.

How can you tell if she’s receptively turning towards you?

She is turning towards you with…

  • her legs,
  • or her torso,
  • her arms, or
  • some combination of these.

If her whole body is rigidly turned away, that is not her turning towards you.

If any part of her body is towards you WHILE you are reading relaxation and excitement from Flirting Sign #1, this can be further indication that she likes you and is trying to show it.

4: Moving closer to you.

When a woman is moving closer to you, she is feeling like she wants a lot more closeness with you.

She is feeling quite relaxed and excited at this point and wants more. Yay!

How can you tell if she’s moving closer to you?

(Video) 6 Signs A Woman Is Highly Attracted To You

If she’s sitting down, she’s…

  • adjusting in her chair to scoot closer to you,
  • extending her legs closer to you, or
  • leaning in quite a bit with her torso or arms.

If she’s standing, she is leaning in to talk or listen more closely… She is *not* moving backwards.

To show you what I mean, I noticed a couple of people talking at a party, and the man kept coming in closer to the woman, who in turn kept moving backwards.

In ten minutes’ time, they were halfway across the room in the direction of her continually having backed away!

If you find yourself in that position, that means she has been moving backwards from discomfort and is definitely NOT moving closer to you.

On the other hand, if you find yourself right around the same area of the room and a bit closer to each other than you were a few minutes ago, you can rest easy that she is indeed moving closer to you.

5. Warming to your touch.

When a woman warms to your touch, she feels melty and surrendered towards you. Yum!

This is a VERY good sign. It’s an unconscious flirting sign, this melting of hers. And you should take it quite seriously.

How can you tell if she’s warming to your touch?

When you touch her on…

  • her hand,
  • her arm,
  • or her leg,
  • the small of her back, or
  • your shoulder with her shoulder

Notice how she “absorbs” the touch.

If she’s warming to you while your arm grazes hers, for example, then the way she absorbs that touch feels very receptive and open and relaxed.

She almost leans into it. Like a cat. She does not flinch.

She feels calm and soothed by those manly hands of yours! This is fantastic. Enjoy this!

She would NEVER do this if she weren’t flirting with you.

6. Touching you.

When a woman is touching you, she is feeling a bit frisky.

She’s feeling bold enough to touch you and/or reciprocate your touch.

How can you tell if she’s touching you in a flirtatious way?


  • squeezes you,
  • lingers with her touch, or
  • strokes your hand, arm, or leg.

If she does these things, friend… and she’s a genuine person who is warm and sincere…

She is into you.

So, now that you know these signs of attraction, what’s next?

We’re about to answer the pervasive “Is she into me?” question in specific contexts you might find yourself in.

How to Tell If Your Coworker Is Flirting With You?

She sits two rows down from you, and she is way more attractive than she seems to realize.

(Video) 6 Flirting Signs That She's DEFINITELY Into You!

Every morning when she comes into work, coffee in hand, you get butterflies in your stomach. You find yourself wondering whether you look the right combination of busy and relaxed.

Then you remember that time you ran into each other in the hallway once and made small talk. You thought you saw her blushing, but you couldn’t be sure. So let’s solve this thing! Is your colleague giving you social cues?

Here are signs she’s into you and flirting at work:

If she’s more outgoing, she sort of gushes when she sees you in passing. She shows extra interest in your day and the details you tell her. She wants to know what you’re working on or what your weekend plans are.

If she’s shy, she might feel flushed and seem warm after talking with you for a few minutes, even if it’s cold in the office.

While you’re talking with her in the hallway, at the elevator, or on your way out to lunch; her body language is ALL ABOUT YOU.

She’s turning towards you and maybe clutching something she’s holding onto (from the excitement of getting to stand so close to you!).

How to Tell If A Woman Is Flirting with You After You’ve Just Met?

You’ve just met at a party you almost didn’t go to (and now you’re glad you went because she is so stunning). You’ve already confirmed her relationship status. It’s hard to tell if she’s into you though.

Whether dating in NYC, LA, SF, or in any other place, this is a universal situation.

Maybe you’ve heard that a woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation, and you’re watching for that. You’re wracking your brain for how to interpret a sure sign in those early moments of just having met each other.

The trouble is, between the loud music and the people passing around you two as you make small talk, you feel distracted and you can’t seem to read her well, even though you’re working to pay attention.

Especially if you’re introverted and private by nature, you might feel like it takes you a long time to warm up to new people. This compounds the issue.

Here’s how to pick up on signs a girl is flirting with you, even if you don’t know her well yet:

Since you’ve just met, you’re not sure if she’s smiling extra because she’s talking to YOU or if she is just a smiley person in general.

Here’s how to tell the difference in her presence:

  • Not interested: Is she extra bubbly and seems lost in her own world of outgoingness (indicating she’s a woman who smiles a lot in general anyway)?
  • Interested: OR is she more focused and present with you while still smiling (indicating she is really enjoying you personally)?

Here’s how to tell the difference in her personal space:

  • Not interested: Does she seem to be constantly trying to make more space between you, so that you don’t get too close (meaning she is not into you!)?
  • Interested: OR is she very comfortable being close with you and perhaps even using the bustle around you to MOVE CLOSER to you?

How to Tell If a Girl Is Flirting with You Once You’re Already Good Friends?

You feel seriously attracted to her every time you hang out together, just talking on your couch or out exploring your city.

It’s been that way for years, and the thought that she might feel the same excites you to no end.

She’s intelligent, she’s kindhearted, and she’s confident. She’s basically everything you want in a woman.

Because you’re interested in her, you can’t help but wonder, “Is she into me?” when she wears something really beautiful (when she knew she was going to see you that day).

Or when you see her look at you in a certain way, you get really distracted:

“Is she flirting with me? Does she see me as just a friend, or is there something more?”

It’s hard not to take these things as flirting signs, but should you?

Let’s start getting to the bottom of this!

Here are flirting signals from a woman who already knows and likes you:

There’s a closeness from comfort two people have as friends, and then there’s a closeness two people have who feel a spark of chemistry between them.

If she’s shy: If she feels this too, she might be SHY to be close to you (even while maybe blushing and feeling happy) precisely because she knows it would excite her even more.

(Video) 12 Subtle Signs Someone Is Actually Flirting With You - How To Tell If They Really WANT You

If she’s outgoing: On the other hand, she might CREATE opportunities for more closeness with you, so that she can be near you and feel how strong and safe you are.

The detail to notice is…

Whether shy or outgoing, does she ALSO seem WARM/FLUSHED while she’s close to you?

If she’s completely normal and her breathing is relaxed and she is not warm, she might not be flirting with you at all. She might actually just see you as a friend. That warmth/blushing near you is key.

How to Tell If She’s Into You But Too Shy to Show It?

While your friends prefer more extroverted women, you’ve always preferred the intellectual, quiet type of intelligent woman.

This is wonderful once there’s already a connection established, but what about BEFORE then…

When neither of you necessarily feels comfortable “showing your cards” or even knowing fully what those cards are (as it takes time to see if you are truly into one another)?

Flirting Subtleties

Here’s how to tell if a girl is flirting with you in subtle ways, since she may be too shy to say or do anything about it overtly (a reservedness you likely find attractive!):

She is blushing A LOT, more than an outgoing woman would. If she’s shy AND attracted to you, she might be more susceptible to showing inadvertently through her body that she feels pleasantly uncomfortable around you (butterflies will do that!).

She is either laughing and smiling more than she seems used to (because you have that effect on her) OR she is withdrawing but seems keenly curious and interested in you.

You can feel her attention on you in a pleasant way that indicates she feels intrigued but maybe a little apprehensive because of the attraction she feels.

Flirting Signs: 6 Subtle Tells That Someone Is Into You (1)Conclusion on Reading Flirting Signals, Signs, and Tells:

That’s a lot of flirting! Let’s get everything listed out so you can see it at a glance.

Here are the 6 signs a woman is flirting with you:

  1. Relaxed and excited around you
  2. Smiling and looking down shyly
  3. Turning towards you
  4. Moving closer to you
  5. Warming to your touch
  6. Touching you

These signs of attraction apply across these contexts and more:

  1. A coworker flirting with you
  2. A woman you just met seeming into you
  3. A friend who might have a crush on you
  4. A shy woman who may be more subtle

Now that you know these six flirting signs and a few key contexts to apply them in, you are well on your way to more easily noticing when women like you.

Sometimes just noticing flirting signs from a woman can help you feel more empowered to do something about them, like getting her phone number and setting up a date.

For the times when it’s not enough (because, confidence!), we’ve got you covered there too:

Reading signals is best done on a foundation of confidence.

Now that you’ve learned key tips on how to read flirting signs…

How can you best apply what you’ve learned into your dating life?

  • Most important of all is knowing what’s already great about you. (Pro Tip:Do the “Your Unique Attractiveness” exercise in this free ebook to find out what is great about you personally!)
  • Then, once you’ve build more confidence through those self-reflection exercises, then you’re ready to find the right venues to approach and develop your conversation skills and more, all on that rock-solid confidence foundation.

These signs apply whether you’ve met a woman online or in-person. You don’t have to be “dominant” to notice or act on these; you can simply take into account what she has said and what she is saying through her actions.

So where to go from here?

If you feel like deep down, your confidence is suffering…

(Video) 6 Signs a Person Likes You Even If You Don’t Think So

Then take heart:

Our far-and-away BEST free resource for introverted men is This is a fantastic free ebook that will take your dating success to the next level!

Grab your copy, discover your best qualities in the ebook exercise, and then send us an email telling us what they are. :)


What does subtle flirting mean? ›

Subtly flirting can be a natural state of being if you are generally interested and happy to get to know someone. The best, most subtle ways to flirt aren't facades. A skillful flirter is actually just fully existing as themselves, investing the same amount of interest and love into each encounter.

What are the signs that someone fancies you? ›

We spoke to dating experts and psychologists to find out how to tell if someone is actually interested you.
  • They pull their sleeves up. ...
  • You talk about mundane things. ...
  • They remember what you say. ...
  • Texts often end with a question. ...
  • They will alter their body language to be closer to you. ...
  • They try to impress you.
23 Jul 2019

How do you know if he is dropping hints? ›

How to Tell If a Guy Likes You
  • He is touching you.
  • He remembers small details about you.
  • You two are social media friends.
  • He gives you eye contact.
  • He makes an effort in the conversations you have.
  • He's using “alpha” body language.
  • He asks if you have a boyfriend.
  • He gets jealous when you talk to other guys.
10 Mar 2021

What is a natural flirt? ›

It's flirting for the sake of flirting, for a shared feel-good factor. They draw the line: Natural flirts know when and where to stop. They will not lead someone on unnece... They draw the line: Natural flirts know when and where to stop.

Is he into me or just friendly? ›

If a guy is just being friendly, he'll usually talk to you in a casual way. He'll ask about your day or what you're up to, but he won't get too personal. If a guy is interested in you, he'll want to know more about you. He'll ask about your hobbies, your family, and your dreams.

How do guys flirt subtly? ›

His gaze may even linger on yours for a while, and then he may get nervous and break eye contact, even maybe with a little smile. He can also flirt with you by making eye contact from across the room, too. If you catch him staring at you, that can be his way of flirting, too. See if he turns his body toward yours.

How do girls subtly flirt? ›

If you want to flirt without being too obvious, start with eye contact and body language. Try meeting your crush's eye and smiling. Let them catch you subtly checking them out from time to time—for example, take a quick glance at their lips before looking back at their eyes.

How do you tell if a man is attracted to you but hiding it? ›

Signs He Likes You Even If He's Hiding It
  1. When he looks at you, he can't help smiling. Once I was out with Sam in a cafe. ...
  2. He always finds excuses to talk to you or spend time together. ...
  3. He asks you a lot of personal questions. ...
  4. He remembers the little details about you. ...
  5. He always makes an effort to keep the conversation going.
5 Jul 2022

How do you know if someone secretly likes you without talking to you? ›

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You But Is Hiding It
  1. Eye contact. ...
  2. Never use his phone around you. ...
  3. He is talking to you almost every day. ...
  4. He never talks about other girls. ...
  5. Treats your friends well. ...
  6. He tries to be around you. ...
  7. Jealousy. ...
  8. He's supportive.

How do you tell if a guy is slowly falling for you? ›

He Loves Nonstop Conversations with You.

This is another sign that he is slowly falling for you. He talks nonstop whenever you are together, always coming up with additional topics. You can observe that he never answers you with a simple “yes” or “no”. There are always long explanations, and he ends by asking you back.

How do guys flirt with you? ›

When he is flirting with you, he may lean closer towards you while you and he are speaking. He may angle his body towards you, make eye contact, keep his feet faced in your direction, or tilt his head while he talks to you. These body language cues signal one thing: He is very much into you!

What is a flirty person like? ›

Flirty, or flirtatious, is variously defined as inclined to flirt, playful allure, arousing sexual interest and showing sexual attraction that isn't meant to be serious. If you have a flirty personality, you enjoy flirting and could flirt to break the ice with someone.

What is a huge flirt? ›

1 intr to behave or act amorously without emotional commitment; toy or play with another's affections; dally. 2 intr; usually foll by: with to deal playfully or carelessly (with something dangerous or serious); trifle.

How do you tell if someone likes you or is just being nice? ›

7 Signs Someone's Flirting With You Vs. Just Being Nice
  1. They Make It Known That They're Single. ...
  2. They've Started To Ask You More Thoughtful Questions. ...
  3. There's A Noticeable Change In Their Behavior When You're Around. ...
  4. They're Super Attentive And Engaging During Conversations. ...
  5. They Ask For Your Help A Lot.
23 May 2019

When a guy is attracted to you body language? ›

Eye contact is one big indicator, as well as frequent smiles and laughter. An open posture and facial expression are also signals of attraction. Acting fidgety or nervous, or blushing and getting sweaty palms, is also a sign that someone is attracted to you.

How do girls show interest? ›

Among the dozen above, the most common signals of female interest are smiles, direct eye contact, and/or repeated glances towards and away from you.

How do girls flirt with you? ›

She's definitely flirting if she looks at you frequently, teases you, touches you when she's excited or happy, or texts you random, funny things. She might be flirting if she laughs at your stories, calls you nicknames, makes up excuses to talk to you, or adjusts her body language toward you.

What do guys do when they are attracted to you? ›

How to Know when a Man Is Attracted to You
  • He smiles and laughs around you.
  • He compliments you.
  • He makes eye contact with you.
  • His posture is open.
  • He leans in close to you.
  • He touches you often.
  • He faces you in a group.
  • He removes objects between you two.

Why do guys go quiet when they like you? ›

1. He feels you are out of his league. One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. He lacks the confidence to approach you or share his feelings with you, fearing you might reject him.

How do you stop having feelings for someone you can't have? ›

4 Steps For Getting Over Someone You Can't Have, As Told By Experts
  1. Stop Talking To Your Crush (If Possible) Shutterstock. ...
  2. Accept That Your Love For Them Won't Disappear Overnight. At the same time, don't try to bury your feelings. ...
  3. Focus On Other, Non-Romantic Parts Of Life. Shutterstock. ...
  4. Stay Off The Dating Apps.
25 Mar 2014

How do you know if a man likes you but is hiding it? ›

Look out for these signs to understand if he likes you but is hiding it: He stares at you and can't help smiling: He gazes at you longer than necessary and returns a smile when you look back – that kind of smile he can't control because he gets nervous around you.

What does flirting look like? ›

They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex, but it often means they wish for more quality time with you).

When a man is playful with you? ›

# 4 – He acts playful

Making you laugh is one of the quickest ways for him to establish a connection with you. Being playful also gives off the “harmless” trait and lets you know that he's not intimidating. Humour has a way of making people let their guard down so he will definitely use this if he's into you.

How does a man flirt? ›

His gaze may even linger on yours for a while, and then he may get nervous and break eye contact, even maybe with a little smile. He can also flirt with you by making eye contact from across the room, too. If you catch him staring at you, that can be his way of flirting, too.

Does he like me or is he just being nice? ›

If he's just being friendly, he may smile and make eye contact, but he won't go out of his way to touch you. The classic "brush your hair away with his finger" move is common in movies, but it rarely comes up in real life. If he pulls this one, he's almost 100% romantically interested.

How do you know if someone secretly likes you without talking to you? ›

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You But Is Hiding It
  1. Eye contact. ...
  2. Never use his phone around you. ...
  3. He is talking to you almost every day. ...
  4. He never talks about other girls. ...
  5. Treats your friends well. ...
  6. He tries to be around you. ...
  7. Jealousy. ...
  8. He's supportive.

How do you tell if a guy is intimidated by you? ›

One of the shocking signs a man is intimidated by you is when he makes jokes about having feelings for you. Some jokes might seem harmless, but you will observe some hidden truths about his intentions if you listen closely. So, while you laugh these jokes off, remember that he can ask you out at any time.

How do you tell if someone likes you without talking to them? ›

There are a few nonverbal cues that instantly let you know if someone is interested in you:
  1. Mutual Eye Contact. People look at people they like and avoid looking at people they don't like. ...
  2. A Light Touch. People often touch the person they like. ...
  3. Inward Leaning. ...
  4. Mirroring. ...
  5. Barriers.
28 Jul 2016

What is playful flirting? ›

2. Playful. This type sees flirting as a tool, and they tend to enjoy banter and teasing for the sake of it. Engaging with a playful flirt won't often lead to a serious relationship because this type tends to derive self-esteem from flirting.

What is healthy flirting? ›

Healthy flirting is fun, frivolous, entertaining and makes everyone laugh and feel good. It makes people feel focussed on, important, attractive and in general it has a strong positive and playful vibe to it.

Why do guys go quiet when they like you? ›

1. He feels you are out of his league. One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. He lacks the confidence to approach you or share his feelings with you, fearing you might reject him.

How do you tell if he is attracted body language? ›

  1. He'll serve you an eyebrow flash. ...
  2. His lips part. ...
  3. His nostrils flare and his face generally "opens." ...
  4. He'll try to attract your attention. ...
  5. He'll stroke his tie or smooth a lapel. ...
  6. He'll smooth or mess up his hair. ...
  7. His eyebrows remain slightly raised while you're talking. ...
  8. He'll fiddle with his socks and pull them up.
5 Mar 2018

Why do guys act so interested then pull away? ›

Here are some reasons why men come on strong and then pull away: He's emotionally out of control: This is the most common reason. The guy's feelings are too strong and he doesn't know how to handle them, so he pushes you away.


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4. 8 Signs Someone Has A Secret Crush On You
5. 7 Body Language Signs He DEFINITELY Likes You | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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6. 8 Signs A Guy Secretly Likes You

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