If you’re a girl, you probably have a soft spot for compliments and flattery. You enjoy hearing sweet words such as, “You’re amazing, sweet, smart, kind, and beautiful” because it makes you feel appreciated, cared for, and comfortable in your skin.
It tells you that someone out there loves you for who you are and appreciates the things you do. It also empowers you as a woman and gives you the confidence boost you secretly desire.
But if it’s been a while since you’d heard encouraging sweet words (especially from a guy) and you crave attention and affection, hearing sweet words can be very dangerous for you.
Excessive flattery can give you a false sense of appreciation and security—and consequently, open your heart up to the wrong kind of person. To the kind of person who’s proficient at making vulnerable women fall prey to his excessive praises and manipulation tactics.
Whether your self-esteem is good or not, be careful about the kind of praises a guy gives you. Words may be words, but they can make you feel a certain way. They can trigger emotions only a romantic partner should make you feel and give you a feeling of acceptance and gratitude.
With that said, if you barely know a guy and he’s showering you with sweet words that make you feel good, bear in mind that he’s probably buttering you up for a selfish reason.
He likely wants you to feel good in your skin so that you can relax around him and in time, give him what he wants. What he wants could be anything from attention, validation, and support to sex and a person to brag about.
However, if you’ve known this guy for a while and he says you’re amazing, kind, and genuine, then he’s probably got a bit less selfless reason for complimenting you. Chances are that he enjoys your company and that he wants you to know he appreciates you for the way you make him feel.
This article is for girls and women who wonder, “What does it mean when a guy says you are amazing.”
What does it mean when guys say you are amazing?
Guys know that the quickest way to make a good impression on a girl is through flattery. They know that if they just compliment a girl’s looks, efforts, and abilities that they can make almost any girl feel special.
That’s why they often mindlessly throw compliments at the girl they feel emotionally or physically attracted to and hope that she responds in a positive manner. They do this because the girl’s happy reaction validates them and matters to them.
It matters because deep inside, they understand that as long as the girl is happy and relaxed, she can reciprocate their flattery and return their feelings.
And if the girl does that and guys perceive the girl’s reaction in a positive, loving, warm, flirtatious, or humorous manner, guys typically like what they see and receive the green light to:
- Continue to observe and flatter the girl
- Discover her soft spots
- Try to increase the girl’s feelings and/or strengthen the friendship/relationship bond
- Plan the next steps
So if you’re wondering what it means when a guy says you are amazing, know that it usually means that he appreciates you, likes you, and wants to get to know you. He likely has a crush on you and wants to see if he can make you feel the same way about him.
Some guys do this even though they know a woman is in a relationship. They don’t care much about that because they feel too good around her and don’t have the skills or willpower to step away from a situation they shouldn’t be getting themselves in.
To know whether the guy in question likes you as a person, as his partner, or sexually, you’ll need to learn more about the guy’s behavior.
Guys are less expressive by nature
Guys who grow up under “normal” circumstances are usually less expressive than women. With the help of society and caregivers, they shape themselves into less emotionally expressive people because that’s what they and others want them to be.
They want to be seen as confident, strong, and mature individuals who have their lives and feelings under control. They’re men, after all, so they want to be perceived as men.
Taking this into account, if you see a guy who’s (emotionally) expressive with you, you can immediately tell that he has a reason to be expressive. Something or someone has helped him develop himself into the emotionally mature and empathic person he is today.
Whether it’s by choice or with the help of others, the guy now expresses himself by projecting his wants and needs onto you in order to obtain that which he lacked during childhood, teenage years, or early adult life.
His compliments elicit a response from you that he hopes would meet his emotional needs. We’re talking about recognition, security, attention, a sense of autonomy, and peace of mind.
This is why when a guy says you are amazing, it means that the guy values you and is comfortable around you. He wants you to have faith in yourself and have self-confidence because if you feel good about yourself, he knows he can feel good about you and his purpose as a man too.
He can be happy around you because the thought of being able to help you, relieve your self-doubt, and increase your self-esteem does the following to the guy:
- Increases his confidence (reassures him of his abilities and makes him happy that he can influence your well-being and cheer you up)
- Gives him a sense of belonging
- Helps him get emotionally closer to you
- Meets his wants and needs
- And maybe even boosts his ego
When a guy expresses gratitude to you, it can have a strong impact on the guy. It can deepen his trust bond, help him relax around you, and increase his overall familiarity with you and what’s possible to achieve with you.
Not all guys are genuine
When a guy gives you compliments, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions and think that he likes you romantically. He might still be in the early stages of getting to know you and doesn’t love you yet.
It’s possible that he merely appreciates something you did and wants you to know how he feels about your efforts or kindness.
So take some time to figure out his feelings for you and your feelings for him as rushing is not going to help you. If you rush, you might start thinking to yourself, “Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship with me” and drive yourself crazy with questions you don’t have answers to.
It would be much wiser and safer to observe the guy and his intentions first. Pay close attention to the things he does and how he behaves. This includes his affection toward you, his body language, the words he says, the time he wants to spend with you, and the activities he engages in.
Think deeply about his motives and study his authenticity. If you feel that he’s sincere and appreciative of you, that’s good. He probably wants the best for you and likes being a part of your life.
However, if his demeanor proves not to be completely trustworthy, you may want to study him a bit longer. Put his words and actions (personality) to the test by observing him over the course of a few weeks. By doing so, you’ll sooner than later find out what his intentions are.
If he’s toying with your feelings because he’s only after sex, he’ll sooner than later tell you that. He’ll lose his patience, reveal his cards, and go all-in on you. He won’t keep trying to score with you if he sees it’s not going anywhere. He’ll move on to other women instead.
But if he’s more about you and sees you as a friend or a partner, he’ll probably try to stay close to you at all times. He won’t leave your side for long because leaving you would indicate that he doesn’t want to contribute to your life and increase your feelings for him.
He wouldn’t be able to get what he wants and would, as a result, be anxious or unhappy when it comes to getting closer to you.
Another reason why a guy says you’re amazing is that he may not be able to commit to you yet. He may have recently gotten broken up with or broke up with someone and needs more time to himself. The “You’re amazing” line could be his way of saying “I like you, but I only like you as a person or a friend, not more.”
In this case, he could like you as a person a lot, but when it comes to committing to you emotionally, he may not be on the same page with you.
It’s possible that he isn’t emotionally ready to date you yet because he hasn’t completely cut off his past. You can tell he’s not interested in being your boyfriend if he appears too friendly, incredibly busy, or appears to flirt with you only when it’s convenient for him.
Keep in mind that people go for the things they want. If we really like someone, we want him or her to know that one way or another. We deliberately give the person we like subtle signs of attraction and hope that he or she notices our efforts and reciprocates them.
When do guys give compliments?
Guys don’t give compliments for no reason. They usually praise a girl if they respect her for who she is and what she does for herself and others.
If she accomplishes something noteworthy, guys typically compliment her for that. They appear friendly, happy, and very attentive.
But if guys appear overly nice to girls and continue to unnecessarily express their desire for attention, girls may want to raise their guards. Such guys are either extremely insecure and possessive or are after quick sexual gratifications.
Always remember that you’ll know if a guy is serious about you when he invests his time and effort in you. You’ll know he cares if he continues to show that he cares. And you’ll know he loves you if he loves you for what’s in your heart and not what the top layer of your skin looks like.
One way to know if he’s into you is if he asks questions about you. Questions about your interests, hobbies, family, career, goals, and the things that are important to you.
Don’t look for superficial compliments from a guy, such as:
- you look beautiful
- you look hot and sexy
- I love your curves
- your dress looks nice
- you remind me of a celebrity
- I love your photos on Instagram
Look for non-physical signs of attraction that have a deeper meaning instead:
- I think you have a beautiful voice
- I love your humor
- You’re incredibly talented
- Your smile always brightens up my day
- You’re so smart. You can do anything you set your mind to
- I’ve never met someone as kind as you
- I could listen to you for hours
Such are the compliments that separate player men from genuine people.
Does he like you when he showers you with compliments?
Maybe…. There’s no guarantee that he likes-likes you just because he’s drowning you in compliments. Frivolous compliments, unfortunately, can’t guarantee a straight “yes” that he likes you.
They can’t because they prove that they are more about the superficial reciprocation than they are about who you are and what you do.
So forget about the guy’s sweet words and think about his actions instead. Actions are all that matter.
Here are a few ways to tell that the guy’s intentions are selfless:
- He shares his long term goals with you and shows an interest in your life
- He introduces you to his family and friends
- He enjoys his quality time with you
- He doesn’t rush by skipping relationship stages and wants to get to know you better
- He rushes to your aid whenever you need support
- He doesn’t enforce his beliefs on you
- He’s transparent about his relationships and tells you the truth from the beginning
With that being said, if you notice that the guy’s doing the opposite of the above – that he showers you with compliments in the early stages of friendship, know that there’s a huge possibility that he’s not interested in your feelings, but his.
He could be trying to manipulate you into dropping your guard and extorting attention, validation, and even sex. Figure him out first so you don’t get hurt later.
So be wary of a honey-tongued guy who bombs you with affection, attention, and compliments as he could be trying to get into your pants. The guy could be trying to use you for emotional and sexual purposes and discard you when he finds someone new or something different.
It seems that Taylor Swift’s figured this out in her song Blank Space. She’s saying that “Boys only want love if it’s torture.”
What she means by that is that guys love to chase after girls who are a challenge for them. They enjoy the challenge and at the same time, hate not getting what they want.
They’re goal-oriented, hence why they continue to chase to boost their egos and fulfill their cravings.
When I was just a kid, my dad used to tell me that a honey-tongued guy doesn’t really mean what he says. A guy gives you gifts and flabbergasting compliments only when he wants something from you.
At the time, I was too young to understand that guys could be so deceiving. But now that I’m a bit older, I know that some are. I’ve developed the ability to detect guys with poor intentions a mile away before they even open their mouths.
I suppose practice makes perfect.
How to know if he’s being sincere when he’s giving compliments?
If you have doubts about a guy’s intentions, you have every right to feel that way. Maybe you were cheated on in the past and don’t want guys to play you for a fool again. Or perhaps you don’t want to waste your emotions on someone who shows so many red flags.
Whatever your reasons for apprehensiveness are, your most reliable tool for detecting guys with bad intentions is time.
A guy can fake his compliments and affection, but he can’t hide his true colors. Not for long because sooner than later, he’ll forget about his fake image and slowly—one day at a time, revert to his regular self.
It’s not a matter of if, but when.
So if you wonder if the guy’s comments are genuine, pay close attention to the way he communicates with you. Observe how he communicates with his friends, family, neighbors, the elderly, waitresses, and with everyone he encounters.
As Tony Dungy, an American football coach says, the way you treat a woman will impact every area of your life at some point. It will stretch beyond your immediate relationships with your wife or girlfriend, to your friends, parents, and children. Character is revealed in the way you treat others and how you handle relationships.”
Always remember that actions speak louder than words. They describe a person’s personality, moral values, and self-respect.
So don’t rush and get to know the person you’re slowly getting closer to. Do this out of respect for yourself.
Do you now know what it means when a guy says you are amazing? What compliments did you receive from guys before? Share all the sweet words and promises below this post.